the signs as things my dad has said

breadmaakesyoufat:

Aries: i will fight anyone that eats my toast

Taurus: where did i put my glasses, i need them to see

Gemini: i may be asian, but i cant fix your iphone

Cancer: i cried at the end of despicable me two

Leo: it was a very good pun, you should’ve been there

Virgo: whats the English word for “the horses that spin around with music” 

Libra: what is “hella”? 

Scorpio: i want cheese fries, where the hell are my cheese fries

Sagittarius: dont talk to the dog like that

Capricorn: can you reach that for me, i am very small

Aquarius: “anime”?

Pisces: you have to go to bed early because you smell

 Via rate
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